The Acolyte: my ass is sore from this wooden stool
CDJay: well, if you do eat trees

Lost Soul: that's why I'll be wearing bullet proof armour
CDJay: and that's why I'll have armour piercing rounds.

Gurning Gurlie: i appolige for my ttyping last nite

Chris A: had to train mensa on their new website today

Fracus: i dont think theyd stand for you in d&b
Fracus: theyd have you shot

Chwhynny: weirdest place u had a wank?
CDJay: over ur food.

Flyin': Introduction to climaxing in awkward positions CD s'all good as

DJ ST: Does america use euros?

CDJay: yea, I'm quite drunk and dealing w/ a alcohol fuelled retard who thinks he's safe in the womb..... but, actually, is juggling knives.

CDJay: word of mouth is all good until it bites you in the ass w/ rumours of bestiality and war crimes.
Fracus: stop letting your past hold you back
CDJay: aye, I changed my name, for a fresh start!
CDJay: *soldiers on*
CDJay: ( within the confines of the Geneva convention this time )

Jim Coxell: and i burnt my cock while ironing my shirt this morning

Brisk: get some fake tan, you might get laid
Brisk: haha
Brisk: just ask Dougal
CDJay: no, I'm only interested in women
CDJay: altho I'm sure he'd say yes

The Acolyte: do you know how they castrate rams?
CDJay: by letting you fellate them?

Loz C: poor old sean d
CDJay: ?
Loz C: got pissed on by donna grassie last night

Rob LB: i got a dog.
Rob LB: called it darwin

Chwhynny: 5. i love you
Chwhynny: erm, skip 5
CDJay: I love me too
CDJay: wow, we have so much in common
CDJay: let's fuck

CDJay: you!
Fracus: Vee
CDJay: double you!

Lost Soul: I've felt paranoid for days, I've had to sleep with the light on. I think it was the film I watched at CDJay's.

Oli G: Bah
Oli G: need to buy womens tights

Himbo: feed back please
CDJay: oh!
CDJay: ok
CDJay: *holds mic next to speaker*

Invader: mine is very thick
Invader: (hair)

Mozz: Big Gay Al Storm is not so big but very very gay!

Nu Foundation: Quit: OLA [ Quit: Insufficient memory ]

CDJay: I'm CDJay
CDJay: I'd recommend it.
Ruffage: Surgeon General's warning: may cause brain damage, cancer, liver disease, severe mental incapacitance. Not recommended for pregnant women, children, or anyone who enjoys leading a normal life.

Gammer: he had to ring me in the end
Gammer: and tell me what to put where

Stormtrooper: pc is being gay
CDJay: well, it just wants a handjob I'm sure
CDJay: don't be a prude

Adam L: he's far too pretty to be streight
Adam L: id give him one
CDJay: haha quotes.txt beckons
Adam L: dont you dare or ill give you one

Hujib: I used to be a child opera singer..

Lost Soul: you can run. but you cant hide! well.. i guess you can hide. but you cant run, hide, and cook!
CDJay: clearly u've never played hide and seek with a skag addict before

Entity: I am your bitch if the need should ever arise.

Arkitech: you bastard. ive been singing magical rainbow to myself constantly for the last two days

Ruffage: ie fretting over the fact I will one day be forced to meet u in person
Ruffage: which generally involves sitting in the corner, holding myself, shaking, etc
CDJay: look, just come right out and say masturbating instead of skirting the issue so

Arkitech: when the boat comes in
CDJay: it won't, I fired torpedos
Arkitech: bah, you sank hms hardcore
CDJay: everyone on board was going to die slowly from a terminal disease

DJ Storm: i am currently rubbing nivea for men across my head

Gammer: erm, am talking to hixxy about it seeing if he'll whack it out

Jon Doe: As we've already discussed, they'll take drugs and ignore us.

Chwhynny: ok let's fight
Ruffage: ok note: I'm twice your size
Ruffage: note: I win
Chwhynny: note: I'm Chwhynny
Ruffage: I have noted that, hence why we're fighting

Oli G: Unless your CDJay
Oli G: who drinks the campest looking shit ever if he is in a cocktail bar

Sy: which was in the end similar to that if I had dropped a Cliff Richard track

Invader: only deposit you'll get is somethin slimey on your face

Lost Soul: You weren't very subtle when you stamped on Gammer.
Lost Soul: Or threw me into the fridge.

CDJay: Hire yourself out by the hour to smitten hardcore raver girls
MC Rude: By the hour !! you must be joking mate, 10 mins tops & that includes the post sex cigarette !!

Double DecKa: got a question
CDJay: yes, it's perfectly normal. now go find a girl to put it in.

Gammer: you know im bursting with style
Gammer: good thing cdjay aint here
Gammer: that would been straight on his quote list

CDJay: I need cuttings of your pubic hair
CDJay: so I can clone you
CDJay: and say "I cloned miss overbeeke from pubic hair"
CDJay: providing light entertainment at classy dinner parties.

Sunrize: whats shakin
CDJay: an epileptic on a vibrating bed with attatched strobe light?

Chwhynny: "I like two hard cocks"
CDJay: I like to quote you
Chwhynny: "I like to suck one off when the other one's fucking me"
Chwhynny: oh bah

Oli G: My vocabulary + language skills let the rest of me down
Oli G: but fuck it
CDJay: haha that's a pretty roundabout way to boast about your endowment

Marc Smith: bite my shiny metal ass my articulate friend

Invader: help prevent rape - consent

CDJay: note to shelf: be supportive.
Nu Foundation: note to elf: grow up

Overflow: then i got kidnapped by Tom Selleck

CDJay: intrusive vaginal exam
Gammer: guess which instrument ;)

Hattrixx: AutoMessage: I'm not available
CDJay: damn, and I was gonna ask u to be my g/f

Ruffage: tonight, more than usual, I shall go to bed thankful for the large, deep, cold body of water that lies between us

Oli G: brb, onion rings a burning
CDJay: what an... interesting twist on a christmas classic

Hujib: CDJay would like to send you the file "Sensory Vision.rm" (812 Kb). Transfer time is at least 14 hours with his fuck ass shit countryboy connection. Do you want to Accept (Ctrl+T) or Decline (Ctrl+D) the invitation?

DJ Helical: im built for comfort, not speed

Gammer: tequilla leads to drunkness
Gammer: which leads to uber dancing

Ruffage: What's my *squeak* name?
Ruffage: Wha...? *squeak*
Ruffage: Say" *squeak* my name, *squeak* bitch!!

James F: u are the best label owner since kaos mate

Desire: I'm not going to release prematurely

NuFoundation: fuck getting on bonkers
NuFoundation: I want to get in quotes.txt

DJ ST: Couldnt get through the door to go outside at one point cos i thought something woz in the way but it woz actually cos i hadnt pulled down the handle which someone kindly demonstrated for me

Bouncy Buncheez: No attitude at all, even the security bloke who threw CDJ out for being in the women's toilets was smiling

Frisky: well i've been told
Frisky: i fell down the stairs
Frisky: i fell on a parked car
Frisky: and i tripped over a bike rack

Gammer: i go
Gammer: ctrl
Gammer: alt
Gammer: and e
Gammer: thats also how robots take pills

Paul Zykotik: Best moment of the night was CDJay's face when Electric was played for the third time that night - I thought he was going to headbutt his way through the entire warehouse

Invader: some asian doctor will basically be touching, feeling and general molesting my genitals at 9:15 am
CDJay: ah rite, so not any medical reason just another one of ur fetish escort visits

Cris E: ...was truly the funniest thing ever.
Cris E: Apart from Stargazer getting chatted up by the barman.

Oli G: id be paying for my dick to be extended just so i could fuck my self if it had got on bonkers

CDJay: there is a very easy way for top tier DJs to stop getting abused.
CDJay: stop deserving it.

Reese: i told my friend to bend this chick over a windowsill and do his thing... unless his thing was ventriliquism

Ruffage: sent him link to photo from NYE
Ruffage: he says "the one on the right looks shaggable"
Ruffage: unbeknownst to him, it was me

DJ Comet: Whos that in the picture?
CDJay: lol me
DJ Comet: Reminds me of Oli G
DJ Comet: Only more evil

Invader: i only asked Ben-e to suck me off jokingly tho
Invader: i didnt get off with him or anything
Invader: that was a one off

DJ Fracus: did we use protection?
DJ Storm: oh noooooooo
DJ Storm: i missed my period as well

Cube::Hard: you will be the death of hardcore mate
Cube::Hard: im not joking

Invader: i have actually pissed on my mum b4

Chwhynny: haha me
Chwhynny: ive ried it
CDJay: lies
Chwhynny: s only lice with chips

James F: im hiudesouslrey driunk
James F: i was very sexed uop

DJ Storm: look at it this way, all the top names are old as fuck and will be dead soon

CDJay: I fuckin gam
CDJay: errm..
CDJay: bad typo

Dodgee: come on I'm welsh, I've been getting buggered by my old man since I was 2

Invader: ouch, just moved my leg funny and trapped a bollock..
CDJay: question: was it urs?

CDJay: Thus I hope terminal diseases find you all, and horrific car crashes await those foolish enuff to think that the righteous judgemental deity isn't observing and calculating the depth and degrees of your insolence.

Oli G: will you fuck off quote boy

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